The teen and tween years are a time of change for children and parents alike. Kids at this age question authority. Their peers often have more influence on them than parents. They are learning to self-regulate and pushing limits. The changes can be daunting for parents. I’ve found that these years require more explanations about decisions and giving teens increased input into decisions and choices. These are critical years to instill prudence into your child’s decision-making. The more they understand the reasons behind decisions, rules, and options, the more equipped they are to process new circumstances on their own and make prudent choices.
Here is a simple list I use with teens before they head out of my purview. It is called The Four S’s:
- Don’t be out at a Stupid Time – The odds of something bad happening to a young person at a party go up greatly after 12:00 a.m. Staying out till 2:00 a.m. or later is courting danger.
- Don’t be in a Stupid Place – Going to a room or another place you don’t know with people you just met, getting in a strange car, going to that place that is dangerous but your friends think makes it cool significantly increases your chance of being subjected to something you cannot control.
- Don’t be out with Stupid People – Don’t we all have friends we hang out with who do stupid things we know are not safe, yet we hang out with them? When we do, we are subjected to the repercussions of their actions.
- Don’t do Stupid Things – There are things we do on a dare, things we do because others are doing them, and things we do when we ignore that little voice saying don’t. There are others at parties looking for that opening to take advantage of you.
All these things tempt young and old alike but are especially appealing to that age that is first exploring independence. We have to teach them that passing on that short-term good feeling for the opportunity to enjoy better experiences that last longer is worth passing up any and all of the four S’s. It is also important to note that the part of a person’s brain that regulates impulse control, is not fully formed until age twenty-five.
